Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize