Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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