"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
