I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
