just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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