ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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