Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize