Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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