Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
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