Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
