you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
