I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Randomize
