fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
