i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
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