he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize