So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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