We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
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