i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize