the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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