I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
