I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
