It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
