oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
