Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
