I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
