then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
