over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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