Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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