Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
