gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
