why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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