I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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