oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize