Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
