I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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