so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
