brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Randomize
