people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
