i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize
