Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
