Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Randomize
