Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Everclear isn't food dammit
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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