dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
