The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize