hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize