Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
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