For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
