Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry MrJoNeZz94 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(512): View more from Texas

I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.

(519): View more from Ontario

If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.

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(904): View more from Florida

We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple

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(480): View more from Arizona

There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.

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(682): View more from Texas

Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong

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(806): View more from Texas

Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.

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(541): View more from Oregon

i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.

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(507): View more from Minnesota

currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.

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(404): View more from Georgia

He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??

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(636): View more from Missouri

Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.

(314): View more from Missouri

You truly are a temple of morality.

(636): View more from Missouri

I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.

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