you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
