Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
