My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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