My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
