I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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