He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
