found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
