All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
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