Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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