bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
