So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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