watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize