are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
