oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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