i think my mom watched the whole time
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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