I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
