i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
