Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
