So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize