Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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