I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
