it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
