Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
you inspire me to be a worse person
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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