just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
