Pappa wants mamma naked
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
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