you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
