So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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