I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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