People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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