Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
