Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
