Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(636): View more from Missouri

The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem

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(479): View more from Arkansas

I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.

Fav 8 1617 7189
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(913): View more from Kansas

Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.

Fav 15 3327 1143
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(765): View more from Indiana

I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.

Fav 33 6279 3313
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(469): View more from Texas

Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.

Fav 26 1268 4309
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(513): View more from Ohio

The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.

Fav 2 3903 1105
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(928): View more from Arizona

If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.

Fav 5 1566 1207
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(214): View more from Texas

This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.

Fav 2 1177 602
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(704): View more from North Carolina

Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.

Fav 2 92 14
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